The word ‘authentic’ was Merriam-Webster’s dictionary Word of the Year for 2023, and while it may appear to be a trend, I believe that the demand to understand and experience authenticity is a collective response to the increasingly artificial world we find ourselves in.
As we become more reliant on screened devices for communication, education, information, and entertainment, we also need to be able to discern reality from the augmented and facts from misinformation.
I believe this starts by embodying our own authenticity, calibrating to our inner truth and therefore being able to recognise it outside of us.
But this is not for the weak.
When you are living authentically, there is little middle ground; people either love you or hate you. Which is why it is easier to conform to societal expectations. Rejecting or even questioning collective ideals can cost you relationships, income, and your reputation, especially in these ‘cancel culture’ days.
You can choose to follow the generally accepted tide or live life on your own terms.
Discovering My Authenticity
After briefly thinking I would like to be a pharmacist—which seemed to appease the expectation that I would work in the healthcare industry like the majority of my family—I changed my mind. Partially because I discovered that my pharmacist cousin did not spend her days concocting potions, but mostly because I had developed a deep passion for creativity, especially music.
As a young girl, I was obsessed with pop music. Every Sunday evening I bargained with my mother to get a few hours with the radio. I listened to the Top 40 countdown and attempted to record my favourite hits on cassette without the Radio 1 jingle. This was my weekly masterclass. I studied the craft of songwriting, first by emulating what I heard and then honing my own style.
Even though I clearly had a talent for music, I faced constant resistance.
No one could see how music would provide a living. They probably thought I’d eventually tire of my pipe dream, find a real job, and do all the things I was ‘supposed’ to do.
But that never happened.
Creativity had to be the centre of my life.
The Compromise
Over the years, I had many ‘real jobs’, and although I was mostly a diligent employee, I could never fully commit to them. To me, they were always just a way to pay the bills because the work would never excite me in the way that creating did.
Eventually, I found a combination that seemed to work: a full-time position at a production company that allowed me time off to perform. All was fine for a while until those old familiar feelings of dissatisfaction and frustration returned. I knew I had to leave.
Fate intervened, and I was made redundant in July 2009. One enduring moment from that Tuesday morning reinforced my conviction that I needed to figure out how to live life on my terms. On arriving at work, all staff were called into a meeting and told by two strangers from an insolvency company that we no longer had jobs.
As they handed each of us the paperwork we needed to receive our (paltry) redundancy payments, the Managing Director – who had been a challenging man to work for – slunk out of the room, avoiding making eye contact with anyone. No thanks or apologies. His cowardice appalled me.
While I could somewhat sympathise with his predicament, we had tolerated his erratic behaviour and worked hard for him yet he could not even offer the basic courtesy of saying he appreciated our efforts. As one of his longest-serving staff members, I had given three years of my life to build up his business and now had nothing to show for it.
I was disappointed with myself for losing sight of my true goals, and that day, I decided never again to compromise my dream for someone else’s.
Choosing Authenticity
Returning to what has always been true for me has meant shedding the many pretences I adopted to appease others. I got clear on what is non-negotiable in life, ready to stand firm against the inevitable resistance and judgement.
There is so much external pressure to do, be, and have at particular moments in our lives, which I suspect contributes to the prevalence of anxiety in society. By placing so much value on external validation, people hide who they really are, building lives based on a false version of themselves. Their prevailing sense of unease is the part of them that knows something is wrong.
My childhood desires are central to my work today as a Creativity and Spiritual Life Coach, Podcaster, and Writer.
Honouring those desires makes me happy. Living authentically gives me the confidence to take action when my intuition nudges me to leap into new ventures. Last year I joined the local Toastmasters club to master public speaking as I am inspired by great orators who are memorable because they are authentic.
May you find your own route to the personal satisfaction that living authentically brings.
About the Author
Carol Mae Whittick is a member of Toastmasters International, a not-for-profit organisation that has provided communication and leadership skills since 1924 through a worldwide network of clubs. There are more than 400 clubs and 10,000 members in the UK and Ireland.
Members follow a structured educational programme to gain skills and confidence in public and impromptu speaking, chairing meetings and time management. To find your nearest club, visit www.toastmasters.org.
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